dear diary,
I’ve been starting to hook up with a guy on my tour through Europe. He’s a nice guy and all but he never takes initiative (I’ve had to make most of the first moves) and isn’t very physical affectionate. Now being someone who’s big on physical touch as my love language, I need that kind of affection. Cuddling post-sex is a must for example.
It had been starting to wear on me since he’d never try talking to me during the day, even just saying “hi” when we were walking next to each other. I told him I wanted to be friends if we were going to hookup consistently but we often don’t speak for days.
Now you may be thinking, “what if he wants to keep your fling a secret?” The whole group saw us kiss and knows we’ve slept together so we can kinda do whatever we’d like.
He also knows I don’t want something exclusive so it’s not like he’s afraid I’ll fall for him. Trust me, I’ve gone through all the situations in my head before. He’s just not interested in being physically affectionate or taking the initiative.
Maybe he doesn’t care either way if we hookup. If that’s the case, dang that’s a bruise to the ego. I hope I’m not SO terrible at sex that a man is indifferent to hooking up with me.
My friends say to just drop it but it’s kinda like a puzzle you can’t just quite figure out. An enigma. I guess he’s playing the typical aloof, bad-boy role. But if you were to see him, you’d be shocked. He seems like the kinda nerdy, slightly chubby, inexperienced type. I thought things would be easy and it’s turned into one of the weirdest, unexpected situations.
I’m not asking for too much am I? He talks to me less than most other people on this entire tour (and that’s around 30 people). Like seriously? I’m not asking for you to be by my side constantly but a “hello” or “how’s it going” would be nice. Or a brief touch of the hand. Sly touch of the small of my back. Make me know you’re thinking of me.
dear diary 