Dear Diary,
I suppose life is a pendulum swing. I went from a crazy, passionate, non-defined relationship (see previous blog posts) to one that is very considerate, stable, and monogamous.
Sounds great right? Except the part where he is waiting till marriage to be “intimate.” I can’t decide whether it’s the Universe saying “Fuck you” or teaching me a lesson– especially since I’ve slept with over 50 men and I’m not even 25 yet. I guess your perspective on that depends on your view of the universe, as one big battle or one where everything works out for the best (for the record, I’m the second).
We’ve been together since January 2019 which means I haven’t had SEX since January. WTF. Trust me, some days I think it’ll explode with pent-up sexual energy. I think I’ve actually forgot what it’s like to have sex. That intimacy and the feeling when a guy slides into you….. Fuck…
Obviously it’s been one of THOSE days 😉
What makes it harder is that he can’t marry me (for religious reasons) unless I convert to his religion. I mean I get it, imagine raising kids with an ULTRA-religious parent and another that’s “spiritual”. How do you raise them about a “God,” where your values should come from, your purpose in life, etc. However, this means we will NEVER have sex.
So this is where you might be thinking, ok, why the hell are you still with him? It’s almost June. Have you lost your mind or what’s going on here? Well… I think it’s one of the best things that could’ve happened to me at the moment (Ok maybe I have lost my mind 😉 )
dear diary 