After my ex, I was devastated. I always wanted to be more. To be his girlfriend. To talk about the future. I mean normal stuff if you’ve been together for 1.5 years. But he continuously made excuses that I seemed to believe too. We weren’t right for each other in the long run. We are great friends, fuck buddies, and lovers but he could never see me as a full-time girlfriend to build a foundation with. That came to a peak when he told me he’d been seeing a girl for a month and would like to be exclusive with her.
He didn’t believe in monogamy. He said he wasn’t ready to have a girlfriend. He just wasn’t ready for a relationship with ME. To top it off, since I’m his best friend, he wanted me to meet her. Meet the girl that was replacing me in his life. He said nothing would change and maybe he truly believed that…
The heart break tore me apart. The physical pain of your heart breaking. Your dreams of traveling the world together: shattered. And to make it worse, I gave in and met her. I met the physical embodiment of what he wanted. What wasn’t me. It took a year and a half after that to get over us and the beauty in my heart that was replaced with the pain.