maybe I can’t do it all

Dear Diary,

This week has sucked. It feels like most everything that could go wrong. DID.

So maybe I’m exaggerating a bit…it wasn’t terrible. Just wasn’t great. Usually my life is pretty great. Stressful but great. Classes are manageable, work is fun and exhilarating, I’m building friendships, meeting and networking professionals, volunteering, etc. I’m doing it all.

This week was the week that proved to me that maybe I can’t do it all. It didn’t help that I’m feeling sick. Stuffy, drowsy, cough, sleeping when I can, etc. So this week started out with a negative hue.

School related:

I took a final that I probably (definitely) wasn’t prepared for. After the final I then found out that it was worth 50% of my grade. Now I’m stressed that I might get a C in the class. Shit.

In addition, I got a 64% on an exam. Well it’s not as bad as it sounds. The average was a 72% and it’s only worth 10% of my grade. Participation is 30%. So it’s not the end of the world but still. A 64%… hurts your confidence a bit.

I also had to perform a group project yesterday. 5 group members and 4 minutes. That’s roughly 45 seconds per person. This group consists of all my friends. That sounded like a good idea initially but turns out you should never be in a group with friends. There has been so much resentment and frustration from everyone. Some people seem to be pulling all the weight while other people don’t know what’s expected of them. It’s a disaster…

I’m the type of person who rarely needs to study. I just do well from remembering what I was taught and reviewing before the test. It’s usually worked before. Well now I’m concerned that I’ve dug myself into a hole when it comes to this semester and if there’s even a possibly of climbing myself out.

Work related:

Besides having a difficult week of school that makes me anxious, I didn’t have a great week when it came to work. One reason I was dealing with the bad grades this week was that I’m currently interviewing with companies I want to work for. Well if these interviews go well, I’m set. I just have to not screw it up (attitude or really poor grades). Can’t be too hard right?

Well my interviews didn’t go as planned. Two were for conferences this summer in companies I want to work for. The third was for an internship this summer for a company I’m not very interested in and an industry I used to be interested in (but not anymore). Since I’m feeling sick (as I mentioned above), I cancelled my third interview. I still haven’t decided if I want it. The first two were okay. The one I really wanted went worse than expected. Questions I wasn’t prepared for and I’m nervous I came off as someone hard to work with or something. The one I didn’t care as much for I nailed. So we’ll see. I don’t think it helps that I’m sick and mentally not as sharp as usual /:

Now there are other things that happened but they deserve a whole blog post to themselves (it’s relationship, or a lack thereof, related).

Well I got to go to class. I’ll be back later!

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